When Brinda agreed to switch blogs with me for a day. I was honestly pretty stumped about what to share with her captive audience. Her brilliant idea about a discussion on how to have fun, well, that was genius. Having fun is a lot of work. I would know, I tend to not have fun when doing fun things. Amusement parks and parties are nowhere near as great as an evening with a good book.
So, yeah, I can see why having some handy tips could come in handy. But I still try to be somewhat sociable, because I don’t have an overwhelming desire to die one day and have my family be forced to hire someone to be a pallbearer. You know, because I didn't have enough actual friends to carry my casket.
So I’ve come up with some tips that have allowed me to still have fun when I’m not doing what I want to be doing.
#1) HAVE A KINDLE APP ON YOUR PHONE. Turns out, whipping out a big fat book when you’re at a party is totally unacceptable. But whipping out your phone, somehow, that makes you cool and aloof. I might be piddling on Facebook, posting photos of my shoes or pets, which for some reason, people are fine with, but really, I’m just reading. Shhh.
CONS: You have to read a page, look up, smile, say something witty, and maybe compliment someone before you can go on to the next page. And also, avoid your spouse, he or she may not be thrilled if you get caught.
#2) DRINK MORE ALCOHOL. Part of the reason having fun is so hard is that it often involves other people. Which means spending most of my time wondering how many of my physical flaws they’ve noticed. What? I’m wearing the Wal-Mart private label on my pants? And my socks don’t match? Oh, you noticed that only shaved half my face? Alcohol turns any awkward situation into a fun-filled evening where I am just as witty, bright, charming, and handsome in person as I am in my own head.
CONS: Yeah, as much as this magical elixir can solve most problems in the world, there is a dark side. No driving, watch out for other people not appreciating how awesome you’ve recently become. Waking up on the roof of the Home Depot at 3:00 p.m. on a Tuesdaywith no shoes and a pigeon pecking at your face isn’t as fun as it sounds. Learn from my mistakes.
#3) BE OBSCURE: I tend to get nervous in parties, mostly because I don't think it's a great way to get to know anyone. I mean, there is something you learn about a person when you've had 11 cocktails and a 3 hour marathon of Dance Dance Revolution. But at some point, while you're still cognizant enough to talk, you've got to let everyone know how much you love talking about the history of blood transfusions. I mean, what's the deal with the French, right? If that fails, you can wow them by showing them your Kindle app on your phone, hopefully you've bookmarked the passages you want to discuss.
CONS: Okay, not everyone is as interested in the lore of the Pink Power Ranger as you are. And surprisingly, don't want to read your 180k word fan fiction about it. Trust me, it's their loss. You don't want to be friends with them anyway.
#4) DON'T STOP TALKING. Ever. Once you've gotten the courage up to start talking to someone, don't ruin it by stopping. Get it all out there. How that time in the third grade you set fire to the fort you and your friends built because Billy Johansen's big brother said he would beat you up if he saw you outside again. So you wanted to burn up his secret stash of playboys for revenge and didn't realize how fire worked and then the fire department showed up and you said you have no idea about it because you were grounded for peeing in Ms Pogue's flower bed, which was true, but only because you couldn't use your own bathroom because you'd flushed all your mothers tampons down the toilet because Billy Johansen's big brother said that's where babies come from and you didn't want another brother because that'd mean you weren't the baby anymore and then no one would buy you presents and--
CONS: Some people aren't interested in good stories.
#5) WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR. This might sound like a no-brainer. But nothing makes me feel more alive than knowing that I'm wearing clean undies. And one of my very best friends is a trauma surgeon, and they have told me that they do, honestly, note who was wearing clean underwear when they come in. At that point, I figure you have enough problems to deal with, there's no need to add a doctor who is trying to save your life having to work on a person that can't be bothered the change clothes.
CONS: Sometimes, accidents happen.
IN CONCLUSION, these are just some of thing things I've picked up in my attempt to be a more sociable person. It's still a work in progress.
Read what Brinda wrote about how to have fun over at Rusty's blog: www.rustywebb.blogspot.com
Rusty's most recent release is the short story, My Killbot Buddy, which is about an old man with a poor memory, a lot of enemies, and a combat rated robot that is sworn to protect him.
An Amazon Reviewer States:
"Another great book from Rusty, whose work I really like. Rusty fits more into a short story than many writers can get into a novel, and "My Killbot Buddy" continues that. The futuristic setting, the character backgrounds, the relationships: all are fully-fleshed out in a short span of time, making it feel as though I've read a complete book even though I finished it in one setting."
Peter Sumner is a man who loves solving problems. He's done so for most of his life. But when he awakes early in the predawn of an otherwise indistinct fall morning, he discovers that he has more problems than he can deal with.
Being chained to a hospital bed, with no memory of the past decade or more, and finding out he is the most wanted man on the planet... all things he'd rather not deal with at the moment.
With only his great-grandson and a combat rated robot as allies, Peter has to stay alive long enough to figure out why the world wants him dead.